Another chance at a year

I've become 27 since I last posted. Hooray for me! I made it! When comparing my life at this point to my friends and families, I think i'm doing okay. Going back to school was really a lifesaver for me, (if I graduate, that is) And when i'm done i'll finally have the financial freedom that has eluded me my whole life.

It makes me understand how one of my best friends, Kuau, was able to turn his life around from drinking 40's and doing drugs everyday to graduating with a quadruple major and going on to manage a hedge fund. It just comes to a point where you realize that you can't and you WON'T ever work in customer service again! I DO plan to continue drinking and partying though ;-) I met that point a long ass time ago but lacked any motivation to do anything about it simply because my life was pretty comfortable. I was making just enough to live with roomates and get drunk and have fun as often as I wanted.

I kept the thought in the back of my head that I would someday graduate from community college and get a real job. Meanwhile the truth was that I was taking 2 or 3 classes a semester tops and for that matter, skipping a semester here and there if I got too lazy. At that pace nothing would have ever happened for me. I guess I owe it to my aunt for dragging me out to the east coast kicking and screaming.

Funny thing about me being 27 and actually being on a career path is that years ago, maybe 5, my mom went to go see a psychic in California. My mom is a big believer of paranormal bullshit like that. She saw this woman who was supposed to be the real deal in most circles. And the woman told her among other things that her son Patrick (me) would be involved in his lifelong career that would make him happy and wealthy by the time he was 27...

Now, I don't know how much I really go in for this sort of stuff. It seems to me that 27 could be an age where alot of people get their shit together. Nobody wants to be 30 years old and working at a Trader Joe's. But stll, it feels good to think that maybe in some cosmic, destined, whatever the fuck kinda' way that i'm maybe doing the right thing here.

I've celebrated this new year of mine so far with a couple interesting developments. The craziest of them being that my dad, yes, my dear old dissapeared dad has contacted me. The funny thing is that he contacted me through...MYSPACE!...

WTF!?!

I checked my messages the day before i turned 27 and there was a random one from a girl with the headline "I am looking for my son". I opened it and it read like this...

Were you born 10/19/81 in Houston, TX??? If so, please call me at 731-xxx-5xx7.. I love you son. Kevin M.

Fucking CRAZY! I looked more closely at the picture of the girl whose account it was sent from and she was clearly my half sister. A girl i've never met but whose features are so similar to my dad's that there's no other way. My dad used his daughter's account to hunt me down. For what? I don't know. Regret? Guilt? Love?

He left me and my mom and half brother (different dad) when I was only 9. He cheated on my mom with another woman. My mom found out. I was once forced to endure a car ride in which me, my mom, dad, and the woman he was having an affair with were all riding together to some forgotten destination. My mom had already correctly guessed that this was the housebreaking woman unbeknownst to my dad. This led to one of the most horrific memories of my childhood. My mom and dad and this woman fighting and yelling and throwing things in the car for hours. The uncomfortable tension before it erupted, trying to just put my head down and sleep but finding that the trip from hell had not yet ended, the aftermath where their marriage finally, painfully ended.

It's memories like this that make me not want to talk to this man. Aside from that, I have never felt like I missed out on having a dad. I never felt cheated or longed for him. I had my older brother to take his place and my friends to act as my extended family once I moved to the east bay. I knew he fucked up and I saw no reason to forgive him. He chose not to pay any child support and he got no visitation rights. My family moved from state to state. Not staying anywhere more than a year till' I was 13. Partially avoiding him and also following my brother from college to grad school. It was tumultuous to say the least. So when I settled in California and finally relaxed I never wanted to leave. I finally had a family.

My dad tried to send a sporadic letter here and there or contact me through my aunt. But I just never had the desire to reopen that chapter of my life. And I still don't. But I suppose i'll give it some thought. At the very least i'm interested in seeing how many half siblings I have lurking about!


So yeah, that happened, threw me for a loop. But i was still ready to party and get wasted and have an awesome birthday month. Prior to the whole myspace thing I went to Boston for 5 days to cool out. I went apple picking in Stowe with friends. Beautiful, relaxing, and my mom made a pie out of my pickin's! I felt like a real farm land motherfucker. I drove back down to NY with another friend from home who just moved to the east coast. He's been staying with me the past week. Nice to have more company in this shitty old house. I think having him be the sober driver everywhere we go is spoiling me a bit too much though :)

The day before my bday I gathered the whole NY crew and headed to a beer garden in Williamsburg. The hipster hub of Brooklyn. It was great getting everyone into one place to celebrate. Even most of my manhattanite friends who cringe at the thought of trekking into BK showed up. It was just dandy. I think I consumed at least 13 pints in liter form throughout the night.



http://www.cbaymilin.com/

Being surrounded by all these great new friends i've made here really made me appreciate my situation. They might not be as willing to go crazy and party with me at the drop of a hat as my Cali friends, (Except for Casey and Bay!) but we do have alot of fun and i'm really going to miss them when I go back. Strange to think I won't be spending any more birthdays in New York...

And now here we are. The weather is getting colder and windier. I'm in the midst of enjoying another 5 day weekend with Ben here. I have an important letter to write and a trip home in december to look forward to. I plan to make the most of this whole year and hopefully return to the bay in one piece with my life in order and the future waiting.