Red Hook nights

Saw "Pee Wee's big adventure" last night at Valentino pier in Red Hook. They've been doing free movies every week all Summer and I made it just in time to catch the last one. This movie is HILARIOUS and creepy.



Red Hook is a fairly out of the way little sub neighborhood of Brooklyn that has a pretty checkered past and sort of a xenophobic attitude to outsiders it would seem. (as I guessed from seeing a couple "Welcome to Red Hook, Now 'GIT" bumper stickers) Maybe it's their quiet, fisherman attitudes and their perceived separateness from the rest of Brooklyn since there's only one bus that goes in and out.



But I find it really charming and peaceful being right on the water. And with the faint reddish tint that the cobble stones and old warehouses seem to give everything. And seeing as it's only about my 4th night back, I got to see some good old friends I haven't seen in months and snack on free key lime pies and a tall can of Rolling rock. I guess Summer is over now officially. Not a bad way to go out...

White girl....mob???

So yeah, Kreayshawn is white and young and cute and a fashion snob hipster, so she is popular. Also, her new song is quite catchy. Buuuuut, don't forget that THIS was her first video and it is possibly the WORST song and video i've ever seen.



I hate her.

But you know what, there's still dope female emcees out there. You just have to look harder..

Peep this chick, her name's Invincible.



And maybe even fresher is "Snow, tha Product"



Will real rappers ever be popular with the masses again? Nah probably not.

Okay so...I'm back.

Back to Brooklyn, for the third time. Yes...third. First for school, then for Alanna, now for my career. After graduating 2 years ago and thinking that the world was mine for the taking, I've since come to realize that a degree from school does not ensure happiness and success. or even a freaking interview.



I've realized that you can't do things until you're mentally prepared for them. I am prepared to make the most out of my life and to never stop trying to take every opportunity that I can to make my dreams come true. SO I've left the Bay area behind again. I couldn't work at a Trader Joe's and party and live in such a hollow way anymore.

It was a lot of fun and games when I moved back home to the Bay after me and Alanna split, don't get me wrong. I found a new girl to love and I found my place in Oakland with a lot of new and old friends. A lot of partying and drinking and attempts at self discovery and realization and therapy.

But I had to come to terms with the fact that I was never depressed, not really. Medication had no effect on my mood. I couldn't use that as a crutch anymore. I was simply lazy, and apathetic and wanted things to be easier. It was only with the promise of new, exciting things and some willingness to change that my mood improved.



It took a ton of soul searching and getting right with myself to make me feel motivated enough to make another attempt at being successful in my work, and my love, and my relationships with everyone around me. Loving myself and believing in myself was the key.



And now here I am. Willing to take the plunge and find some work that makes me feel fulfilled and whole. I want to help people with my work and not end up bagging groceries until I'm 65 years old. I'm embracing this to the fullest and yet I'm not going to count on this latest attempt to justify my whole existence. Life is all about trying and trying over and over, until it all feels right.

If it doesn't happen here now, then it will happen somewhere else. Soon. And until that, I'm going to remain open to all the possibilities of life and have a shit ton of adventures along the way.