It's fuckin' COLD in New York already! What the hell man! I thought I had at least until late November to break out the winter wear. Sheesh!
I got my birthday package from Leile 1 today. Including his brand new CD "Tobacco Road" which you all need to cop right over here... http://cdbaby.com/cd/mistersalty2 It tells the tale of a twentysomething hip hop songwriter exploring issues including American guilt, adversity to the workplace, communicating with aliens, and drinking by yourself. The beats are pretty good too. (I stole that description from the site)
ALSO in my awesome bday package were the new Tobacco, Restiform Bodies and CRAC knuckles cd's. Not to mention a book of short stories by Charles Bukowski. Leile got me hooked on Bukowski after we watched a documentary on his life last time I was in the bean. I think all troubled young men like myself can relate to this guys life of perpetual lust, alcoholism and as Leile himself put it, EXTREME adversity to the workplace.. His poetry is fantastic...see for yourself.
I'm watching "Dune" in the background as I type this. I feel like it's one of those movies that alot of people haven't seen and if I were to quote something from it and someone told me that they hadn't seen it I would just have to hang my head and cry. I once had a girlfriend who had never even seen the original Star Wars trilogy for fucks sake! Granted, she grew up in Iran, but STILL!! :)
Funny how movies fall under the radar like that. I used to be quite the film buff a few years back having worked at an art house movie theatre and then at a video store that prided itself on an extensive collection of rarities. Adding to that numerous film classes I took in college. I don't really know where i'm going with this, but I guess one point of it is that we should all find time for more movie watching. Anything, Buster Keaton, Takashi Miike, Werner Herzog, Flight of the navigator, Irma Vep....oh and Anime too...go watch somea' that...
...I'm still cold...and the heating system in these rusty old pipes is so loud that I can't sleep through it. Gotta' be able to sleep for my 5am wakeup tomorrow. Thankfully only 4 more of those for now. Shit is unbearable! Got me drinking coffee again...
I'm still debating whether to reply to my dad or not. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I've never been one to forgive wrong doers easily so I don't know why I should start now. It seems like 1 out of every 2 families nowadays is torn up by divorce so I don't think it has the social stigma of being some life shattering event that scars you forever anymore. I think I might just have to leave it alone.
I'm going to go scurry off to the kitchen now and make a chicken ramen with just a liiiitle bit of water and crack and egg in it for dinner. Top THAT! :>/
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Another chance at a year
I've become 27 since I last posted. Hooray for me! I made it! When comparing my life at this point to my friends and families, I think i'm doing okay. Going back to school was really a lifesaver for me, (if I graduate, that is) And when i'm done i'll finally have the financial freedom that has eluded me my whole life.
It makes me understand how one of my best friends, Kuau, was able to turn his life around from drinking 40's and doing drugs everyday to graduating with a quadruple major and going on to manage a hedge fund. It just comes to a point where you realize that you can't and you WON'T ever work in customer service again! I DO plan to continue drinking and partying though ;-) I met that point a long ass time ago but lacked any motivation to do anything about it simply because my life was pretty comfortable. I was making just enough to live with roomates and get drunk and have fun as often as I wanted.
I kept the thought in the back of my head that I would someday graduate from community college and get a real job. Meanwhile the truth was that I was taking 2 or 3 classes a semester tops and for that matter, skipping a semester here and there if I got too lazy. At that pace nothing would have ever happened for me. I guess I owe it to my aunt for dragging me out to the east coast kicking and screaming.
Funny thing about me being 27 and actually being on a career path is that years ago, maybe 5, my mom went to go see a psychic in California. My mom is a big believer of paranormal bullshit like that. She saw this woman who was supposed to be the real deal in most circles. And the woman told her among other things that her son Patrick (me) would be involved in his lifelong career that would make him happy and wealthy by the time he was 27...
Now, I don't know how much I really go in for this sort of stuff. It seems to me that 27 could be an age where alot of people get their shit together. Nobody wants to be 30 years old and working at a Trader Joe's. But stll, it feels good to think that maybe in some cosmic, destined, whatever the fuck kinda' way that i'm maybe doing the right thing here.
I've celebrated this new year of mine so far with a couple interesting developments. The craziest of them being that my dad, yes, my dear old dissapeared dad has contacted me. The funny thing is that he contacted me through...MYSPACE!...
WTF!?!
I checked my messages the day before i turned 27 and there was a random one from a girl with the headline "I am looking for my son". I opened it and it read like this...
Were you born 10/19/81 in Houston, TX??? If so, please call me at 731-xxx-5xx7.. I love you son. Kevin M.
Fucking CRAZY! I looked more closely at the picture of the girl whose account it was sent from and she was clearly my half sister. A girl i've never met but whose features are so similar to my dad's that there's no other way. My dad used his daughter's account to hunt me down. For what? I don't know. Regret? Guilt? Love?
He left me and my mom and half brother (different dad) when I was only 9. He cheated on my mom with another woman. My mom found out. I was once forced to endure a car ride in which me, my mom, dad, and the woman he was having an affair with were all riding together to some forgotten destination. My mom had already correctly guessed that this was the housebreaking woman unbeknownst to my dad. This led to one of the most horrific memories of my childhood. My mom and dad and this woman fighting and yelling and throwing things in the car for hours. The uncomfortable tension before it erupted, trying to just put my head down and sleep but finding that the trip from hell had not yet ended, the aftermath where their marriage finally, painfully ended.
It's memories like this that make me not want to talk to this man. Aside from that, I have never felt like I missed out on having a dad. I never felt cheated or longed for him. I had my older brother to take his place and my friends to act as my extended family once I moved to the east bay. I knew he fucked up and I saw no reason to forgive him. He chose not to pay any child support and he got no visitation rights. My family moved from state to state. Not staying anywhere more than a year till' I was 13. Partially avoiding him and also following my brother from college to grad school. It was tumultuous to say the least. So when I settled in California and finally relaxed I never wanted to leave. I finally had a family.
My dad tried to send a sporadic letter here and there or contact me through my aunt. But I just never had the desire to reopen that chapter of my life. And I still don't. But I suppose i'll give it some thought. At the very least i'm interested in seeing how many half siblings I have lurking about!
So yeah, that happened, threw me for a loop. But i was still ready to party and get wasted and have an awesome birthday month. Prior to the whole myspace thing I went to Boston for 5 days to cool out. I went apple picking in Stowe with friends. Beautiful, relaxing, and my mom made a pie out of my pickin's! I felt like a real farm land motherfucker. I drove back down to NY with another friend from home who just moved to the east coast. He's been staying with me the past week. Nice to have more company in this shitty old house. I think having him be the sober driver everywhere we go is spoiling me a bit too much though :)
The day before my bday I gathered the whole NY crew and headed to a beer garden in Williamsburg. The hipster hub of Brooklyn. It was great getting everyone into one place to celebrate. Even most of my manhattanite friends who cringe at the thought of trekking into BK showed up. It was just dandy. I think I consumed at least 13 pints in liter form throughout the night.
http://www.cbaymilin.com/
Being surrounded by all these great new friends i've made here really made me appreciate my situation. They might not be as willing to go crazy and party with me at the drop of a hat as my Cali friends, (Except for Casey and Bay!) but we do have alot of fun and i'm really going to miss them when I go back. Strange to think I won't be spending any more birthdays in New York...
And now here we are. The weather is getting colder and windier. I'm in the midst of enjoying another 5 day weekend with Ben here. I have an important letter to write and a trip home in december to look forward to. I plan to make the most of this whole year and hopefully return to the bay in one piece with my life in order and the future waiting.
It makes me understand how one of my best friends, Kuau, was able to turn his life around from drinking 40's and doing drugs everyday to graduating with a quadruple major and going on to manage a hedge fund. It just comes to a point where you realize that you can't and you WON'T ever work in customer service again! I DO plan to continue drinking and partying though ;-) I met that point a long ass time ago but lacked any motivation to do anything about it simply because my life was pretty comfortable. I was making just enough to live with roomates and get drunk and have fun as often as I wanted.
I kept the thought in the back of my head that I would someday graduate from community college and get a real job. Meanwhile the truth was that I was taking 2 or 3 classes a semester tops and for that matter, skipping a semester here and there if I got too lazy. At that pace nothing would have ever happened for me. I guess I owe it to my aunt for dragging me out to the east coast kicking and screaming.
Funny thing about me being 27 and actually being on a career path is that years ago, maybe 5, my mom went to go see a psychic in California. My mom is a big believer of paranormal bullshit like that. She saw this woman who was supposed to be the real deal in most circles. And the woman told her among other things that her son Patrick (me) would be involved in his lifelong career that would make him happy and wealthy by the time he was 27...
Now, I don't know how much I really go in for this sort of stuff. It seems to me that 27 could be an age where alot of people get their shit together. Nobody wants to be 30 years old and working at a Trader Joe's. But stll, it feels good to think that maybe in some cosmic, destined, whatever the fuck kinda' way that i'm maybe doing the right thing here.
I've celebrated this new year of mine so far with a couple interesting developments. The craziest of them being that my dad, yes, my dear old dissapeared dad has contacted me. The funny thing is that he contacted me through...MYSPACE!...
WTF!?!
I checked my messages the day before i turned 27 and there was a random one from a girl with the headline "I am looking for my son". I opened it and it read like this...
Were you born 10/19/81 in Houston, TX??? If so, please call me at 731-xxx-5xx7.. I love you son. Kevin M.
Fucking CRAZY! I looked more closely at the picture of the girl whose account it was sent from and she was clearly my half sister. A girl i've never met but whose features are so similar to my dad's that there's no other way. My dad used his daughter's account to hunt me down. For what? I don't know. Regret? Guilt? Love?
He left me and my mom and half brother (different dad) when I was only 9. He cheated on my mom with another woman. My mom found out. I was once forced to endure a car ride in which me, my mom, dad, and the woman he was having an affair with were all riding together to some forgotten destination. My mom had already correctly guessed that this was the housebreaking woman unbeknownst to my dad. This led to one of the most horrific memories of my childhood. My mom and dad and this woman fighting and yelling and throwing things in the car for hours. The uncomfortable tension before it erupted, trying to just put my head down and sleep but finding that the trip from hell had not yet ended, the aftermath where their marriage finally, painfully ended.
It's memories like this that make me not want to talk to this man. Aside from that, I have never felt like I missed out on having a dad. I never felt cheated or longed for him. I had my older brother to take his place and my friends to act as my extended family once I moved to the east bay. I knew he fucked up and I saw no reason to forgive him. He chose not to pay any child support and he got no visitation rights. My family moved from state to state. Not staying anywhere more than a year till' I was 13. Partially avoiding him and also following my brother from college to grad school. It was tumultuous to say the least. So when I settled in California and finally relaxed I never wanted to leave. I finally had a family.
My dad tried to send a sporadic letter here and there or contact me through my aunt. But I just never had the desire to reopen that chapter of my life. And I still don't. But I suppose i'll give it some thought. At the very least i'm interested in seeing how many half siblings I have lurking about!
So yeah, that happened, threw me for a loop. But i was still ready to party and get wasted and have an awesome birthday month. Prior to the whole myspace thing I went to Boston for 5 days to cool out. I went apple picking in Stowe with friends. Beautiful, relaxing, and my mom made a pie out of my pickin's! I felt like a real farm land motherfucker. I drove back down to NY with another friend from home who just moved to the east coast. He's been staying with me the past week. Nice to have more company in this shitty old house. I think having him be the sober driver everywhere we go is spoiling me a bit too much though :)
The day before my bday I gathered the whole NY crew and headed to a beer garden in Williamsburg. The hipster hub of Brooklyn. It was great getting everyone into one place to celebrate. Even most of my manhattanite friends who cringe at the thought of trekking into BK showed up. It was just dandy. I think I consumed at least 13 pints in liter form throughout the night.
http://www.cbaymilin.com/
Being surrounded by all these great new friends i've made here really made me appreciate my situation. They might not be as willing to go crazy and party with me at the drop of a hat as my Cali friends, (Except for Casey and Bay!) but we do have alot of fun and i'm really going to miss them when I go back. Strange to think I won't be spending any more birthdays in New York...
And now here we are. The weather is getting colder and windier. I'm in the midst of enjoying another 5 day weekend with Ben here. I have an important letter to write and a trip home in december to look forward to. I plan to make the most of this whole year and hopefully return to the bay in one piece with my life in order and the future waiting.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Wanna know what to get for my birthday??
Well shucks man, look no further!!
http://gizmodo.com/5064523/endless-banana-enjoy-the-soothing-banana+peeling-experience-forever
Like the Mugen PeriPeri before it, the Endless Banana' from Epoch is the latest in the growing Japanese market for "infinite toys"—devices that allow users to enjoy mundane, but strangely thrilling experiences over and over again. In addition to simulating the feel of a banana as it is peeled, the toy also features the voice of an actress named Saki Fujita. Apparently, her task was to make the "sound" of a peeling banana—whatever the hell that is. Unfortunately, finding out is not going to be an easy task. As far as anyone can tell these are a Japan-only release. [kilian-nakamura]
It just looks so satsifyingly awesome that I yearn for it to be in my hands...
If anyone feels like going to Japan and hunting it down for me that would just be keen.
http://gizmodo.com/5064523/endless-banana-enjoy-the-soothing-banana+peeling-experience-forever
Like the Mugen PeriPeri before it, the Endless Banana' from Epoch is the latest in the growing Japanese market for "infinite toys"—devices that allow users to enjoy mundane, but strangely thrilling experiences over and over again. In addition to simulating the feel of a banana as it is peeled, the toy also features the voice of an actress named Saki Fujita. Apparently, her task was to make the "sound" of a peeling banana—whatever the hell that is. Unfortunately, finding out is not going to be an easy task. As far as anyone can tell these are a Japan-only release. [kilian-nakamura]
It just looks so satsifyingly awesome that I yearn for it to be in my hands...
If anyone feels like going to Japan and hunting it down for me that would just be keen.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
This is the type of shit I have to deal with at school...
I'm gonna' let my Facebook status and resulting comments tell this story for me...
Patrick 's phone was thrown into coffee filled trash by his insane classmate as a joke. HAHAHAH! $120 later, I have a shitty new phone. Fuckin' great... 3:13pm
8 Comments
Emily at 3:28pm October 7
shit! man that sucks. two tests and a coffee-fried phone. this is what we call a bad. effing. tuesday. i'm sorry!
Julian at 3:29pm October 7
omg funnay joaks lol
Brent at 3:37pm October 7
what!? are you fucking kidding me? that asshole didn't pay for it???
Sonja at 3:40pm October 7
Do you go to school with teenagers?! They pay for that phone, buddy. Thems the breaks. That's what you tell that retard. I'm sorry.
Patrick at 3:50pm October 7
Yeah, she's a fuckin' child. Said my phone was old and shouldn't cost that much. And I have school grants so I can pay it myself...
These are the type of people I deal with, my friends...
Julian at 4:06pm October 7
whites lol
Ashley at 4:22pm October 7
are you serious? thats what she said?
Jorge at 5:34pm October 7
UNREAL!
So there you have it. Say goodbye to our little friendship Olga. Thanks for showing me what a bitch you are before I got too attached :)
Patrick 's phone was thrown into coffee filled trash by his insane classmate as a joke. HAHAHAH! $120 later, I have a shitty new phone. Fuckin' great... 3:13pm
8 Comments
Emily at 3:28pm October 7
shit! man that sucks. two tests and a coffee-fried phone. this is what we call a bad. effing. tuesday. i'm sorry!
Julian at 3:29pm October 7
omg funnay joaks lol
Brent at 3:37pm October 7
what!? are you fucking kidding me? that asshole didn't pay for it???
Sonja at 3:40pm October 7
Do you go to school with teenagers?! They pay for that phone, buddy. Thems the breaks. That's what you tell that retard. I'm sorry.
Patrick at 3:50pm October 7
Yeah, she's a fuckin' child. Said my phone was old and shouldn't cost that much. And I have school grants so I can pay it myself...
These are the type of people I deal with, my friends...
Julian at 4:06pm October 7
whites lol
Ashley at 4:22pm October 7
are you serious? thats what she said?
Jorge at 5:34pm October 7
UNREAL!
So there you have it. Say goodbye to our little friendship Olga. Thanks for showing me what a bitch you are before I got too attached :)
Monday, October 6, 2008
Ain't seen a fall since last autumn
I've been doing a good job of staying (somewhat) positive lately. I've taken a couple mental health days off of school and that alone is enough to turn a whole week around. Also, I just got a 94 on my first test so I feel like i'm off to a good start this semester. And as usual, my friday and saturday nights remain full of booze, intrigue and excitement.
I've almost completely gotten over my cold but I still have the occasional cough attack. Once I get sick it's insanely hard for me to get over it. I remember going entire winters where I stayed sick growing up.
I'm completely loving the beginning of Fall. This is my favorite season of the year. The perfect transition from hot to cold. I can wear all my hoodies and jackets and there's always a nice cool breeze in the air. In northern Cali it sort of feels like this all year, but in NY it's an all too brief respite between the hellish summer and the frozen tundra of winter. October is my birthday month also so I get to plan out my festivities and get all my friends together to celebrate. (http://www.radegasthall.com) I've never understood people who don't want to party for their birthday. But then again, i'm alot more socially needy than most people so i'll take any chance I can to gather a crowd for drinking and debauchery.
Not to jinx myself or anything, but the year is going by pretty quickly over here. I came back from my summer break home in mid-August and it's already been 2 months. And in another 2 months i'll be back home AGAIN for winter break (hooray!) After that it's just another 7 months or so till' I graduate. I think I just might make it!! My brother wants to take me globe trekking for a few weeks when I finish. I'm excited for the opportunity but part of me just wants to hop on the first flight back home and get back to reality. But no, i'm sure we'll have fun. So far i'm thinking of Denmark, Milan, Amsterdam and London. I'll have friends to visit in 3 out of 4 of those places so that should be interesting. But yeah, that's still a long ways away.
I've been toying with the idea of nerding out and buying some anime and some comic books and never leaving my bed, but I don't think I have the time for all that. As a matter of fact I should be studying for advanced positioning and cross sectional anatomy right this second. 2 big tests tomorrow. I took the day off from the hospital and all i've done is lay around and dork out. I guess I just answered my own question....I had probably not buy any new distractions if I want to keep passing tests! But damnit, I really wanted to watch the entire series of the Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya! Hmm...but if any of my loyal 3 or 4 readers wants to buy me a birthday present though, I wouldn't object... ;-)
https://www.sundevildvd.com/store/product.php?productid=17692&cat=0&page=1
Alright...that's it. I need to go to the supermarket, I need to wash clothes, I need to open a book...I HAVE TO GET OUT OF BED!! Blargh!
I've almost completely gotten over my cold but I still have the occasional cough attack. Once I get sick it's insanely hard for me to get over it. I remember going entire winters where I stayed sick growing up.
I'm completely loving the beginning of Fall. This is my favorite season of the year. The perfect transition from hot to cold. I can wear all my hoodies and jackets and there's always a nice cool breeze in the air. In northern Cali it sort of feels like this all year, but in NY it's an all too brief respite between the hellish summer and the frozen tundra of winter. October is my birthday month also so I get to plan out my festivities and get all my friends together to celebrate. (http://www.radegasthall.com) I've never understood people who don't want to party for their birthday. But then again, i'm alot more socially needy than most people so i'll take any chance I can to gather a crowd for drinking and debauchery.
Not to jinx myself or anything, but the year is going by pretty quickly over here. I came back from my summer break home in mid-August and it's already been 2 months. And in another 2 months i'll be back home AGAIN for winter break (hooray!) After that it's just another 7 months or so till' I graduate. I think I just might make it!! My brother wants to take me globe trekking for a few weeks when I finish. I'm excited for the opportunity but part of me just wants to hop on the first flight back home and get back to reality. But no, i'm sure we'll have fun. So far i'm thinking of Denmark, Milan, Amsterdam and London. I'll have friends to visit in 3 out of 4 of those places so that should be interesting. But yeah, that's still a long ways away.
I've been toying with the idea of nerding out and buying some anime and some comic books and never leaving my bed, but I don't think I have the time for all that. As a matter of fact I should be studying for advanced positioning and cross sectional anatomy right this second. 2 big tests tomorrow. I took the day off from the hospital and all i've done is lay around and dork out. I guess I just answered my own question....I had probably not buy any new distractions if I want to keep passing tests! But damnit, I really wanted to watch the entire series of the Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya! Hmm...but if any of my loyal 3 or 4 readers wants to buy me a birthday present though, I wouldn't object... ;-)
https://www.sundevildvd.com/store/product.php?productid=17692&cat=0&page=1
Alright...that's it. I need to go to the supermarket, I need to wash clothes, I need to open a book...I HAVE TO GET OUT OF BED!! Blargh!
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