This brand new year of ours

Some ruminations thus far...

on SCHOOL:
When I came back to New York from the bay it felt like someone scooped my heart out with a garden trowel. I don't think I was that sad even when I first moved here. I guess I knew what to expect this time so I was dreading it even more.
I've had about 12 written and lab tests since getting back. I'm in the phase at school where when we go to a hospital we're expected to know how to do pretty much everything on our own and it's really stressful.

For instance...a couple of us were left in the room to take x-rays of both legs of a 40 something year old woman on a stretcher. She had big gaping sores covering her legs and they were stuffed with gauze. As we were positioning her the stuffing began to come out of her deep leg holes and we had to stuff them back in...she was in serious pain and wanted her meds but we had to keep going. She also had to piss. So I stepped out as my female co-student took her diaper off and placed the basin between her legs as she tried to aim into it. When I came back in she had pissed all over the stretcher and it was pretty hard to avoid. There wasn't a tech in site to help us so we were forced to (illegally) take the shots by ourselves. That shit happens all the time...
Thank god I have friends to spend time with on the weekends. Bay, Brent, Mia, Casey, Anna, ect... I love you.

on NEW YORK:
It is goddamn FILTHY. Every corner in my neighborhood looks like a garbage truck was just suicide bombed. How did this happen?
It's been a surprisingly mild winter. A couple days got down into the teens, but i'm enjoying a mild 38 degrees at the moment. Hopefully I won't get bombarded in February like Kuau hopes I do. (He wants me to have the true NY winter experience...thanks)
The buses are enough to turn a good day to shit. From the horribly unpredictable schedule to the sardine can atmosphere to the inability of drivers to stop without lunging everyone forward 5 feet. It's truly hellish. Subways are okay unless it's 4am in Williamsburg on a friday night and you know you have a half an hour wait and an hour ride ahead of you.

I've gotten in the dangerous habit of falling asleep one or two stops before mine and then waking up at the end of the line. Then waiting another 20 minutes to backtrack to Ave. U. Another bad yet necessary habit is me climbing down into the tracks to find a creepy nook to pee in. What the hell do they expect!? I Can't hold it 2 hours when i'm drunk!!

on PEOPLE:
I don't think cops are allowed to sit down on the subway. It would make them look lazy and unalert. They also look very willing to beat you with nightsticks at the drop of a hat.

My neighborhood is 50% chinese. 30% Russian and 20% Hassidic jew. I'm starting to think that goes for ALL of New York.

One drunken night after hanging out with my friend Lakhena at a bar I was exceptionally drunk and made my way to the subway. I had no cash and none of the machines were taking cards. I was kind of in the middle of nowhere bank-wise and even if I found one I didn't have $20 to take out in the first place! I was just so damn tired and upset. The idea of walking a mile or more to find the next station was impossible and I basically wanted to cry.
As I was standing there, watching a flood of people pass by after having just gotten off a train, I was lightly pounding my fist on the metal grated door that could be used by the people on the other side as an emergency exit. I was defeated...people passed and were having fun and heading home and I felt like freezing the earth solid and smashing it with an axe...
And then...as all hope was lost...a man, a little older than me, well dressed, african-american...creeps up to the gate, gives a look around, smiles at me, and opens the emergency gate for me, setting off the relatively quiet alarm and hurries off down to his train.

Humanity! Kindness! The brotherhood of man! I felt it that night, my friends! Not a word was spoken between us. But he knew, and I knew that maybe society would make it after all.